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Jan
16

Red Rocket Ale

By Andy Murphy
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Don’t tell my wife, but I do believe I’m falling in love with a redhead.

My new love claims to be Scottish, but she was born in Cloverdale, California (at a place called “Bear Republic“), and she suffers from questionable lineage. When pressed, she labels herself as a “bastardized Scottish style red” that “breaks all style molds”.

But I know her as a full-bodied heart breaker, with a sweet smell and gorgeous, dark complexion. And you’d do well not to let her looks fool you — she’s stronger than you might guess.

It’s an intoxicating relationship. I spent all day thinking about her, and despite my better judgment, I just couldn’t let things stay bottled up any longer.

Maybe you can help me decide what to do? Go visit her online profile and tell me what you think. She’s described as a “fiery red” who is frequently courted by “mountain bikers, and adventurous types worldwide”.

Please, spare me your lectures; I know she’s not good for me. And yes, I get all hopped up around her, but she also brings a soothing balance that I just haven’t found in other reds.

But okay, okay — you’re right! It’s wrong of me to think of falling in love like this. I made a sacred vow not that long ago, and I must live up to that oath:

“One beer a day — no more, no less, and no repeats.”

Sorry Red, this can only be a one night stand.

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